Garden cooking

So I have this little postage-stamp garden, planted from the example of a green-thumbed friend in Winston-Salem (who was one of my visitors last month and who chided me for under-watering my tomatoes, but that's another story). It contains a mismash of herbs and vegetables, some planted with a definite culinary purpose, some for amusement--like "Simon Gardenfunkel" here:

Pop quiz: what could these four herbs possibly be?

...and some just because I have romantic childhood associations with the names. The lemon verbena bush falls into the last category. Lemon verbena was supposedly Laura Ingalls Wilder's favorite scent (according to a source I totally can't remember right now) and another word for the verbena family (confusingly NOT related to lemon verbena) is vervaine, which is the surname of one of my favorite supporting characters in one of my favorite books ever.

The plant itself is an unassuming shrub with a glorious lemony-floral smell. Because the species is native to warmer climates, mine will probably die this fall unless I can find a place for it inside--so I've been searching for ways to preserve its lovely flavor.

After tinkering a bit in the kitchen (and let me tell you, it can get downright dangerous in there!), I hit on the idea of combining lemon verbena with the blackberries that are so plentiful in farmers' markets right now. The lemon flavor is not obvious, discernible mostly through its scent and lingering aftertaste, like a faint but delicious memory of your favorite summer.

Without further ado, I give you:

Megan's Blackberry Nostalgia Sauce

(with thanks to Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything and to Rebekah for her excellent taste in cookbooks)

• 2 cups fresh blackberries. Buy these from a farmers' market, if at all possible. You will need 2-3 of the little square boxes laughably called "pints."
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 Tb cornstarch dissolved in 1 Tb water
• At least 9 large lemon verbena leaves. You can see from the picture above that they grow around the stem in threes; I clipped off a stem below the third full-size trefoil and included all the leaves, even the little baby ones, in the pot. Add more leaves if you want a stronger lemon flavor.

Place all ingredients in a heavy-bottomed, medium-sized saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Once the mixture is gently bubbling, simmer on low. Stir constantly, mushing blackberries with a wooden spoon or potato masher:

After sauce has thickened (about 10 mins), remove from heat and pour into a strainer that has been set over a bowl or other container. Continue crushing blackberry mixture until all liquid is extracted and only skin and seeds remain in strainer. (You could also use cheesecloth and squeeze the mixture to get the most sauce-y goodness possible, but be careful not to burn yourself.):

Yields: Oh, I dunno. A cup or two, I guess.

You can eat this over ice cream, but it would be especially nice on pound cake or some other base that won't overwhelm the delicate flavor of the lemon verbena. Bon appetit!

Coming next:
Pesto for a Broken Heart!

Pupdate #19 (Summer of love)

Hello! Linus and I have been enjoying one of the benefits of living in a destination city: friend visits! Not only is Washington DC much more likely to attract out-of-town guests than Winston-Salem, it is also much more convenient to public transportation. Ergo, our last few weeks have been occupied with friends traveling from up and down the coast to ogle the monuments and coo over Linus.

This week, however, Hotel Megan closed its doors for maintenance and I have been busy washing sheets and replacing stolen ashtrays (just kidding, guys!).

One of our guests, Linus's Aunt Katieberry,* lived in Vietnam for several years. I used the fact that one of the featured cultures was the Mekong River to persuade her to visit in time for the Smithsonian Folklife Festival. THEN she found out that one of her acquaintances was one of the translators for the Festival! We all experienced the cultural opportunities in different ways: I admired the silk weavers,



Katie revisited the happy days of her Southeast Asian sojourn, and Linus ate a chopstick.

We walked further down the Mall with Katieberry, who'd never been to DC before, and got a classic hippie picture of her with her puppy nephew:

A quick swing to the north took us to the White House, simultaneously the highlight and nadir of New York Liberal Katie's trip.

KATIE: Damn you for destroying my country!
LINUS: Who is this crazy lady and why is she holding my leash? Please don't arrest me.

Afterwards, Katie wrote some very nice things about her trip. All I have to say is, the world would be a better place if everyone performed Child's Pose more often.

PS. Sorry the pictures are being weird. Blogger and Flickr are either feuding, or conspiring against me. And I left all my HTML brains at work today.
_____________________
*I can only call her that behind her back!

Pupdate #18 (Have puppy, will pedal!)

Linus and I are both sturdy walkers and we have found a lot to explore in the three-mile radius surrounding our neighborhood. A girl and her puppy can only go so far on foot, however, and DC is a big and exciting place. We could be having even MORE fun if we were more mobile. So in order to overcome this challenge and fulfill a long-held dream,* two weeks ago I purchased a Burley trailer from the friendly folks at Capitol Hill Bikes.

Linus doesn't love it yet--our rides are punctuated by a persistent whine that ranges from "Hey, pay attention to me" to "I am an entire litter of HELPLESS PUPPIES being SKINNED ALIVE" (a sound guaranteed to draw attention from all in hearing range). But I have determined that this trailer is the key to infinite adventure--doggy happy hours! parks! camping trips!--and so, he will LEARN to love it. The Puppy-Mommy has spoken.

Here he is in the trailer, looking deceptively happy:

And here is a suitably patriotic picture of him meditating on the wonders of representative democracy:

Hope y'all had a fantastic Fourth!

__________________________
* And by "long-held," I mean, "Conceived about a day after I traded my car for a three-quarters-dead puppy."

Pupdate #17 (making new friends)

THE SCENE: An ordinary morning on Trinidad Avenue

LINUS: Hi, Sparky. Hi, Dozer. How are you guys?

SPARKY: This is MY yard. I'M the boss here!

LINUS: Says who? Dozer's an awful lot bigger than you are.

SPARKY: Ha. Dozer can't hear you. He's deaf--it happens in white dogs sometimes. See: YOUR MOTHER WAS A PUG AND YOUR FATHER LOVES CATS!!

Ha! No answer. I, on the other hand, have unusually acute hearing thanks to a genetic anomaly that attached my ears BACKWARDS. Behold, the power of my BIONIC RIGHT EAR:

LINUS: Umm, okay. I have to go threaten the Six-Pound Hellhounds now. Catch you later.

SPARKY: Fine. Leave. This is MY YARD! I'M the boss!!

Later that day...

LINUS: Heyyy... where's Sparky?

DOZER: ZZZZZzzzz... oh hi, Linus. Sparky's under house arrest for digging up the garden.

LINUS: You can hear! Why do you pretend to be deaf?

DOZER: You would too, if you had to share a yard with Sparky all the time.

LINUS: Good point.

Pupdate #16 (Linus puts his work gloves on)

The Trinidad neighborhood in NE DC gets a bad rap, but the truth is that there are many beautifully maintained early 20th c. townhouses and charming postage-stamp gardens in our area. In an attempt to hop on the bandwagon--and excited at finally living in a place that has a yard--I began Memorial Day buying and potting plants for a small container garden in the front yard. Our yard now boasts:

• Basil
• Tomatoes (Roma and Patio)
• Mexican roses (Portulaca)
• Lemon thyme
• Lemon verbena

I have a whole bag of potting soil left over, so I might go crazy (or is that grow crazy? Ha!) and buy some more plants...maybe mint and parsley so I can have fresh tabbouleh all summer. And maybe some cucumbers for gazpacho. Mmm....

Of course, Linus did his bit to help:

He's so "handy"!

I also celebrated the holiday by biking to the Mall (I still find it trippy to be living so close to Monument Central) and watching my crazy dad and his crazy friends march in the parade on Constitution Avenue:

Then I shopped. Really, all my Memorial Day lacked was burgers and watermelon.

Pupdate #15 (arrival)

We're here!!!

We spent our last weeks in Winston-Salem in a blur of cleaning, packing and good-byes, with Linus taking the chance to say good bye to his very favorite vet, Dr G:



As for the move itself, I must say it was the best-organized of my peripatetic career. Then again, that may not be saying very much considering how stressful moving is and how bad I am at organizing concrete objects. Of course, I had a little help:

Believe me, one roll of waxed paper was a small price to pay for fifteen minutes of quiet puppy!

Pupdate #14 (Bring your puppy to work day!)

As a present for Linus's half-birthday last month, Munchkin Girl* and I brought him to the Marketing Office on campus and made him Chairpup of the Board for a day. He took his supervisory role very seriously and helped us roll out some new initiatives at the day's board meeting. Here is a day in the life of a working dog:

Chairpup believes in powerful first impressions.
He arrives in style, courtesy of Munchkin Girl Limo & Sedan Service, to be greeted by his adoring subjects.


Pup-ularity is a full time job!
Chairpup receives hundreds of e-mails each day.

Chairpup is known for his high standards.
Here, he reviews a press release waiting for publication.

Munchkin Girl attempts to explain that her gifts lie in organizing, not writing...

...but Chairpup says NEIN!!!

After Munchkin Girl rushes off in tears at disappointing her beloved but demanding supervisor, Chairpup is forced to make his own photocopies.

Fortunately, they reconcile in time for the much-anticipated board meeting, where Chairpup unveils his daring new strategy:

DECREASE CATS
INCREASE BONES


All in a day's work.

____________________
* not because she is short, but because of her TOTALLY AWESOME Munchkin-voice rendition of "Sweet Child of Mine," which forever sealed my determination to be her friend.

Pupdate #13 (See Linus catch!)

Again, with the no posting! Here's a video to tide you over. This is us in the local park, polishing Linus's "catch" skills. We got kicked off the tennis courts one time too many (useless sport!), so I've taken to putting him on a 20' lead and working with him in the open grassy area. It's a good system most of the time, until Linus sees something he wants and forgets that he's still on a leash, hurling himself to the end of the line and then wha-BAM! turning into a canine tetherball.

Sorry for the the long silence, folks. I've been busy GETTING A JOB!

Yes, I have found a theater company in Washington, DC that is actually willing to hire me to sell their shows, run their blog, and be an all-round marketing and internet lackey. So Linus and the cats can continue with their gourmet pet food habit and I have Saturdays off for the first time in three years. I can't wait!!

But wait! My story gets better. A college theater buddy has just recently bought a house in the Trinidad neighborhood of Northeast DC with his wife... a house that conveniently features a finished basement with separate entrance. And is three miles away from the theater I'll be working at. Oh, and did I mention that they love dogs? It's perfect! The only downside is that Nate the Great is highly allergic to cats, so Pepper and Brenin will have to live with my parents in Maryland until I can find a permanent place for myself and the menagerie.

More posts soon. We celebrated Take-Your-Puppy-to-Work Day the other week, and the pictures are fabulous.

Pupdate #12 (The joy of playdates)

Got back from New York at midnight (!!) Friday a week ago. I've been spending most of my time since then either working at The Store or chiseling away at the Federal disaster area that was my apartment. It had reached a state I call Critical Mess: so cluttery and fuzzy-around-the-edges that spending time at home was no longer enjoyable and I couldn't concentrate on anything.

I am happy to report some success in my efforts: the carpet is green again and the stove is white, the bathroom is less of a biohazard than it was (still a work in progress!), and there is no longer a big scary pile of clothing-and-blankets threatening to topple from the foot of my bed and smother me in my sleep.

Linus thoroughly enjoyed his stay at Casa John and Melissa's, coming home covered in cuts and bumps from having been flung about the yard by their three big shepherd dogs. The next day, he was still... subdued. Well-behaved, even. Amazing.

"A tired dog is a good dog," the saying goes. Unfortunately for me, on an energy scale of 0 to Border Collie, Linus ranks about a 9. These pictures are a small taste of what he gets up to when he CAN'T burn it all off.

Yep, that's my hammer sticking out from under his pillow.

So I take every chance to introduce him to new doggy pals who will run him around and beat him up (in a good way!). We also perform the same service for our own dog friends--Linus is much in demand as a play-pal for his ability to run any other dog (including Stella the whippet mix!) into the ground. On the weekends, we've taken to visiting our friend Nonprofit Dave, who has a new Scottie puppy. Teddy was adopted as a companion for Paisley, the grand old lady of the house; however, he is less than a year old and more eager to play than Paisley likes. After our first visit, Dave called me and said, "You've gotta bring Linus back. After your visit, Teddy didn't move for TWO DAYS!"

Here are Linus and Teddy playing:

Arrrr! Death to the stuffie bone!

Spring is here! Doesn't it make you want to leap off your couch and run in circles on the grass?? Me too.

Pupdate #...? (Happy Late Monthday!)

Last week, Linus celebrated his fifth arbitrary monthday (the 7th of each month). Here is his monthly picture, showing one of his favorite toys. He likes to have stuff to carry when we go outside:



Linus is currently visiting with his aunt and making new doggie friends at Casa John & Melissa, as I have to be in New York City this week for school stuff. Naturally I am getting twice-daily progress reports.

You'd think that a Spring Break trip to NYC would be just what every little arts manager desires, but I would so rather be home right now, wrestling with Linus and decontaminating my apartment. Anyway, I am currently the guest of the marvelous Flogging Katie, who has provided me with shelter, enthusiastic welcome, and a much-needed dose of pointed absurdity. Now if I could just stop falling asleep in front of important theater executives...

Pupdate #10 (the Destruction Duo)

It's homework time again, so obviously I have to post another Linus video. Clever stalling tactic, huh?

Brenin and Linus together are a kind of tag-team of destruction, with Brenin gleefully knocking valuable objects off their havens for Linus to chew. One of Brenin's favorite tricks is to steal the sash out of my bathrobe, drag it to wherever Linus is sitting, drop it in front of him, and wait for the fun to begin.

This scene is staged for documentary purposes, but it accurately reflects daily life in the Meganomics household.



P.S. YouTube promises that the video will be ready shortly.
P.P.S. I hope you like it! This is my first foray into the exciting world of video editing.
P.P.P.S. The song is by Magnetic Fields.

Pupdate #9 (See Linus sit!)

Linus practices his tricks and works off his rainy Sunday zoomies. Pepper is not amused:



Sorry about my annoying voice and Virgin Radio in the background.

Pupdate #8 (Progress report)

Here I am, conspicuously not creating a performance calendar and budget for an imaginary theater in San Francisco; nor am I outlining a plan to determine how the Executive Director of my semi-hypothetical nonprofit organization will be hired, trained, and evaluated.

Yeah, you are so jealous of me right now. With exciting projects like these, who wouldn't want a Master's degree in arts management?

Anyway, it's been a while since we've checked in. Linus is still doing swimmingly. This morning in the park we ran into Soccer Coach Guy and his temporary-but-probably-about-to-be-permanent stray dog Micah, a Lab mix. Coach Guy and I turned the dudes loose in our favorite tennis court and they gleefully dashed about and pummelled each other. Linus acquired several tough-looking scrapes in the process of skidding and tumbling on the concrete. He is practically bulletproof, so they didn't faze him a bit. Then Linus's Godmother, Munchkin Girl, took us to the vet's for some preliminary bloodwork in preparation for his upcoming operation (snippity snip snip!). His looks and behavior were universally admired. I was especially proud of him for not flinching, snapping or howling when the needle was stuck into his leg. He came home with a tummy full of turkey and a dashing white bandage that last 0.07 seconds before he gnawed it off. See on his front left leg:

Here is how the training is going:
The Good:

• Housebreaking. Knock on wood, he finally seems to understand that it's not okay to go potty anywhere in the apartment. We moved through several stages with this. First, there was "going potty outside is good!" (The urinary tract infection was unexpectedly helpful in teaching this concept, as he was going outside several times an hour for almost two weeks). Then there was "going potty in the living room is bad, but the bedroom is okay because it's not really my 'den'." Linus and I lived almost exclusively in the living room during his first six weeks with me (hence the sleeping bag that's STILL on the futon), so it took a while for him to include the bedroom in his no-go zone. After that, we got to "go outside when you can, but if you have to go potty inside, go in the bedroom." This stage lasted the longest and is responsible for about 50% of my gray hairs. Thankfully, we finally seem to have reached the "going inside is NOT okay; tell Mom when you have to go outside!" stage. So he knows that if he lingers around the door, I will take him outside. A fun corollary of this process is that he knows the words "Go potty!" and I can brag about having a dog who pees on command.
• Roommate skills. Sometime during the summer, the kids and I will move to either New York City or DC. We will probably have to have a roommate, so I've concentrated on teaching him habits that will make him easier to live with. These include the commands "Leave it," "Give," and "Settle" (requiring him to go to his cushion, lay down, and stay). He is making decent progress with the first two, as long as the object in question isn't too enticing. I'm still working on getting him to figure out that "settle" refers to both the place and the action.
• Catch. Linus is a tennis ball genius. He can catch a ball before it hits the ground about 50% of the time and overall, manages to snatch the ball from the air 2/3 of the time I throw it. That's better than I can do! He also thinks strategically: if the ball is bouncing, he will run up to it, watch how it moves, and wait for it to reach the right position. It's almost eerie how quickly he picked up the skill. Plus, if I throw the ball low and it rolls, he will run in front of the ball and stop it with his feet before picking it up. Four and a half months, folks. Provided his joints hold up and aren't damaged by all this running around on concrete, I plan to train him for agility or flyball competition when he gets older.
• Vocabulary. Here are the commands he really knows: sit, down, wait (= stay. I'm really proud of that one! It's hard to teach!), touch (hand targeting: he bumps my hand with his nose), go to bed, go potty. He comprehends, but has about 40 - 60% reliability with the following: come here, leave it, give, settle, easy (the no-pull command). I think we're doing pretty well!

The Bad:

• Fear aggression. There are a couple of extremely dominant puppies in class, notably a spiky German Shepherd and a Bull Mastiff who won't take "no" for an answer. If either of these dogs pins Linus or gets too much in his face, he snarls and snaps. Even if neither of those dogs is approaching him, I've noticed that he shows signs of nervousness -- raised hackles, flattened ears -- during the socialization period of puppy class, even though he likes to meet other dogs and plays nicely with most of the other puppies. He gets along well with older dogs, though he demonstrates more enthusiasm than manners in greeting them. I predict that he will be fine with the vast majority of dogs; however, it's essential that he be as well-socialized and as confident as possible. Not only is it an important life skill, the ability to be calm around other dogs is a component of the Canine Good Citizen test that many clubs require dogs to pass before they can train for competitions or become therapy dogs.
• Leash walking. Same old, same old. His leash walking is... okay... certainly better than some of the other dogs that I've seen in the neighborhood, but just okay isn't good enough. When he hits his full strength, he will be able to drag me down the street effortlessly. Plus, I love walking and am looking forward to having him as a companion and a guard (true he's a pussycat, but he can at least look dangerous!). I need to work on this in myself, as I am sometimes inconsistent about enforcing the limits of acceptable behavior. My goal is not a perfect competition heel -- his shoulder aligned with my knee at all times -- but a looser heel in which some part of his body is parallel with my leg. Walking ahead of me isn't really okay, but I permit it sometimes and I shouldn't. We've begun some attention exercises in which I reward him for making eye contact with me. I hope that will help.
• Cats/litterbox. Not as bad as it was, but he has mastered the art of the quick lunge and the innocent look as soon as I've grabbed the spray bottle. He has also discovered kitty crunchies, that doggie delicacy. In the picture above, you'll see two crates. The smaller one holds the litterbox and almost succeeds in preventing him from stealing the odd snack. Blecch. At least he responds to "leave it" most of the time.
  

The Funny:

• Snore. I don't call him Mighty Linus for nothing!
• Zoomies. Like cats do in the middle of the night, Linus sometimes feels the urge to race madly around the apartment as if chased by invisible demons. I have a video of one of his fits, which I will post here as soon as YouTube starts cooperating.
• Oh, a million things. The way that carrying a toy stretches his mouth into a big ol' doggie grin. His luxurious, lethargic exits from his crate after a satisfying nap. The fact that he runs to his crate and waits expectantly when he sees me put my bike helmet and sunglasses on. As frustrating as the present situation is, he's still a joy to have around.
  

A Meme

Yes, Linus fans, he will return soon!

In the meantime, here at last is my response to bookwormom's meme poke.

10 Weird Things About Me:

1. I've had my tonsils out twice.
2. I pour wine with my left hand and milk with my right hand.
3. I once re-created a black and gold Elizabethan dress, complete with hooped farthingale, for $50 in materials. Spray paint and glitter glue may have been involved.
4. When I was 20 I left college and moved to London with $1000, no job, and no place to live. I survived.
5. I have read Aristotle, Plato and Sophocles in English and Greek. Aristotle makes more sense in Greek.
6. I took a life-size cardboard cutout of Elvis with me to British Columbia to visit a friend, photographing him with innocent bystanders at every opportunity.
   
7. My movie star crush of the moment is Eric Bana. You would be shocked--shocked!--at how many times I've watched "The Hulk."
   
8. My ultimate post-breakup girl-power comfort book is Robin McKinley's The Blue Sword.
9. I eat my dinners according to what gets cold first. [This had to be pointed out to me by a friend, as I do it unconsciously.]
10. I LOATHE the Build-A-Bear Workshop with a passion that defies all reason.

The Kids Are All Right

In class today, one of my instructors remarked in a puzzled tone, "You seem a little bitter and scarred from your theater production experience."

"Yes," I replied, "and that why I'm in management now."

One of the things I love about studying management at an art school, though, is the constant refraction of creativity through the most mundane lenses. It's a joy to walk around campus and see students make art out of bake sale posters and the arrangement of parking stickers on their cars. Witness this video, created by a few freshmen to record their all-weekend draft-a-thon:



I've rarely seen an all-nighter so well documented.

Pupdate #7 (Linus 3.0, or "Holy growth spurt, Batman!")

Howdy, everyone. Linus celebrated his arbitrary fourth monthday last week with a checkup at the vet's. He tested negative for mange, so I can finally start reducing the meds, and got his final round of shots. We discussed the little snippity-snip operation, which I'm hoping to schedule as soon as possible. And we weighed him. He was eighteen pounds in early January, so I expected something in the twenties, but I was kind of shocked at the number called out by the assistant.

TWENTY-SEVEN POUNDS, people. That's almost thirty pounds of pure puppy lurve. Here is the February picture (the grandparents have commissioned monthly pictures so they can track his growth):


contrasted with the January picture:


As you will notice, HIS LEGS ARE STRAIGHT! Yayyyy!!! The wrist joints still look a little weak and knobbly to my untrained eye, and he still has a habit of knuckling over when he sits or relaxes... but now he runs and plays just like a normal puppy.

Our puppy class instructor told me that doubling a puppy's weight at four months is an accurate predictor of the dog's final weight. I'll admit that I was hoping for something in the 50 lbs and under range; however, 60 lbs is still small compared to the behemoth Labradors that I'm used to.

Pupdate #6? (Puppy's First Snow!)

This is how the cats have reacted to Linus:

No! They're fine! In fact, they have accepted him remarkably well. Pepper, the black-furred middle-aged gentleman, hates dogs as a rule; however, he has gone nose-to-nose with Linus peacefully on several occasions. Brenin, who is just moving out of cat adolescence, is more of a troublemaker. Just when I get Linus settled down, Brenin will come along and bop him on the nose before scooting away. Now how am I supposed to teach the puppy to resist that kind of temptation?!

Fortunately, the spray bottle mostly does the trick.

Get this: Winston-Salem shut down today for an inch of snow that was gone by lunchtime. I'm not kidding. Granted, they were predicting sleet and freezing rain that never materialized... but here's the good part. School cancellations began yesterday--while the sun was still shining. When my Fargo-born classmate heard about this, she threw her hands in the air and shouted, "I effing LOVE this town!!"

Here is Linus, camouflaged in the all-too-brief snow cover:
Have I mentioned how grateful I am for that tennis court? Here I'd always thought tennis was kind of a useless sport, but wow. Thank you, God, for tennis courts, salvation of the apartment-dwelling dog owner.

Pupdate #5 (Puppy yoga!)

Hey folks--
sorry for the long interruption. School kinda caught up to me last week.

Anyway, thanks very much to all for the support and kind advice. My last entry was a little ranty, wasn't it? Sorry. Linus has a lot of energy, intelligence, and sociability; while those are all good qualities and ones I would always look for in a dog, they also require an outlet. Without companionship and stimulation for the mind and body, any dog will develop problem behaviors; Linus is no exception. His bad habits--leash-chewing, cat-chasing, and nipping--nearly disappear on days when I can spend enough time with him.

And then, on the other hand, we have Fridays: class from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm, work from 2:30 pm to 9:30 pm. When I got home this past Friday, he was a complete head case. He ran around the apartment for an hour and a half straight, gnawing at my hands when I put him in his crate for time-outs. Once in his crate, he proceeded to shred the nice bed his grandparents gave him for Christmas. I was so furious, I wanted to scream. Fortunately, I retained enough sanity to remind myself that he had legitimate reasons for being hyperactive. So I gave him a carrot. Chewing on it calmed him down to the point of...manageability, if not good behavior.

And then, miracle of miracles, I had the whole weekend off! We've started working on leash-walking skills, a procedure that involves me stuffing his mouth with cubed lunchmeat while telling him how smart he is for walking calmly at my left side.

The first miracle, I forgot to mention, is that I realized last week that the tennis courts at the local park would make a great puppy playground. We go there once or twice a day; I bring toys, but he also finds his own in the form of discarded tennis balls, watter bottles, and candy bar wrappers. Given his past joint problems, I am not entirely thrilled to be running him around a concrete surface for 30 minutes each day...but in the absence of a backyard, it keeps both of us sane.

And by the way, he's been almost an angel this whole weekend.

And you should see this puppy run! He looks like a little white deer! He throws himself around the courts as if he could take off and fly by running fast enough. Compared to the heartbreaking condition of his legs a month ago, it is a joy to behold.

I think I've discovered the secret of his miraculous recovery. Linus engages in an ancient form of yoga so secret and obscure that it is only known to a handful of practitioners, who are born with it in their DNA. Yes, it's true--Linus is not a pit bull mix, he's a rare and gifted Tibetan Rescue Dog!

Ok, maybe not... but you too can cure weak joints and bring about world peace through practicing poses such as the following:

Dead Cockroach!

Flying Frog!

Helicopter Tail!

Practice up to 54 times daily.

Pupdate #4 (Parent Orientation)

Did you happen to hear a small pop from somewhere on the East Coast at about 8:30 last night? That was my head exploding.

Seriously, I had no idea there was so much advice to give about puppies. And it's all contradictory! New parents (of babies, I mean) have my profoundest sympathy. If I'm overwhelmed by the conflicting directives of dog training, I only need to think about how many different schools of parenting there are. No wonder so many people screw it up!

For example, there is the adage "A tired dog is a good dog;" i.e., you're supposed to give your dog a good workout in the morning to wear him out and make training easier. Cesar Millan, dog guru du jour, concurs, as do the teachers of the obedience class. So, okay, I should exercise Linus. Except... I live in a one-bedroom apartment and I have no yard. So I have to walk him. As I mentioned before, he's doing pretty well; however, he exhibits definite signs of Sled Dog Syndrome (constantly pulling ahead). It's normal for three-month-old puppies. However, I received dire warnings from the instructors last night that in taking him for walks before he's been fully leash trained, I might just be teaching him to pull constantly. So...yeah. You tell me.

It would probably be easier if I didn't care so much and worry so much, but I do. I fret that a seemingly trivial mistake at this crucial time will either scar him for life or turn him into an uncontrollable beast with Jaws of Steel. I want him to be friendly, mannerly and well-adjusted--not just for my sake, but for his. A well-adjusted dog is better equipped socially and just plain happier.

I don't think I'll ever have children. I might die of terminal anxiety.

However, to inspire myself, I've made a to-do list for me and him. As follows:
Behaviors we need to change:

• Chasing the cats. Big no-no. He's just trying to play right now (and so is one of the cats, which certainly doesn't help!); but that might now always be the case. And another cat might misinterpret his invitation. I use a combination of deterrent (the Mighty Spray Bottle), redirection (Linus, come here! Sit!), and reward (Good boy! Treat! Wouldn't you rather be with me than a cranky ol' cat?)
• Mouthing. On the good advice of one of the instructors, I have tried keeping my hand still when he takes it in his mouth. He immediately loses interest.
  
• Nipping at pants legs. Only does it when he's at his most excited and wants me to play with him. I am trying standing still and ignoring him, as this is an attention-seeking behavior. If it persists or worsens, I'll... think of something else.
• Grabbing the leash in his mouth. Does it when he's out-of-control hyper or mad at the leash; i.e., thinks he is being restrained too much. This happens every time we do the "Umbilical Cord" exercise, in which you wear the leash around your waist and attach your dog to you literally at the hip. It's supposed to promote bonding and make you the center of their attention, and it's a homework assignment for class. I'm trying to find some nontoxic deer repellant, as the Bitter Cherry spray didn't work AT ALL. We'll see.
  

First steps:

• I have bought a clicker and trained him to associate it with food, so that every time he hears it he knows he'll get something good. (Done on the advice of many, including pit bull specialists and the inimitable Ms. Kinsale)
  
• He leaves the cats alone voluntarily about half the time; another quarter of the time, I catch him before he acts.
  
• We are beginning to establish a rhythm to our days. Thank God (and I mean that in all sincerity), Linus settles down after the requisite two hours of after-dinner mania.

Enough talk! Here is a picture, taken in the old sweater days, of Linus being cute. I know that's what you really came for!


More on the way, as I just got my first digital camera. And there's a great tongue shot as soon as I can get my last roll of film processed.

Pupdate #3

As you can see from the above picture, Linus is doing fantastically! His legs are almost straight; the orthopedic specialist my vet consulted assured her that they would indeed straighten in time. The official name for his condition, by the way, is "carpal hyperflexion." You might need that for Jeopardy someday.

Puppy kindergarten at the local dog training club starts this Wednesday. As Linus has already grasped "sit" and "down" and is making great strides (ha! get it?) at leash walking, I fully expect him to rocket to the top of the class. He gets it from his mom.

Speaking of the whole "mom" thing, I'm getting a lot of ribbing from my classmates. Half of them assure me that walking a puppy is a great way to meet guys. The other half insist that no man will want to date "a single mother with three kids."

Obviously the solution is to date a vet.